Codependency problems are bound to rise in any relationship. The problems are serious and they reflect on one’s personal life. It not only causes personal pain, but also takes a toll on your mental health as well. People take years to recover after such a jolt to their relationship.
Who are Codependents?
Codependents can be caretakers, workaholics, pleasers or addicts. Their world revolves around a person, a certain thing or even an addiction. Some people think that it is natural to be dependent on someone else. These people also dispute that relations are to be nurtured. That is alright. But as a matter of fact, codependent relations can prove to be caustic at times. The codependents mostly have problems in getting the good substance, which relationships can offer them.
It is not that all the codependents are caretakers. But for those who are, they have a tough time lending an ear to the problems of others. At times, they even hold themselves accountable for the feelings they are in. It does not take time to start a blame game. Each of the partners is blaming the other.
Codependents and Emotional Boundaries
The emotional boundaries are the ones that should be recognized. It should be understood that the feelings, the emotions and the thoughts are ones’ own. They cannot be imposed on anyone. If the boundaries are not strong, it is very likely that the closeness will also be difficult. It needs you to develop a sense of identity. If not done, you will not be able to express the true you. It should not be surprising then, if you are not accepted in your relationship.
Low Self-Esteem and Codependency
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Low self-esteem is likely to step in at such times. There is a simple logic behind it. When you feel low in self-confidence, you bear the feeling of getting rejected or even abandoned. What you do is you give more importance to your partner and play with your own to make a better space for your spouse.
Life is not easy for those who are dating as well. They need to see to it that they pursue their partners. It might be strange to feel that it may not be a commitment, but at the same time one does not want to leave the partner either. The same can be the case in marriages too. Having to remain in the same state of mind for longer durations can be easily frustrating.
It can take a heavy toll on the intimacy side of the couple. Some couples bid good-bye to intimacy once and for all. In fact, intimacy is the first thing that is hampered and it does not take any time for the coldness to develop between the two. Even if one partner is ready to make amends and bring back the normal life, it can be proved that, it is easier said than done.
Healing codependency is possible, but indeed a tad difficult one. The first thing you need to build a relationship with your own self. If you can communicate with yourself, you will find yourself on the winning side.
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