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How To Deal With Controlling People
We encounter controlling people everywhere. It is not uncommon to be living with a controlling spouse or interacting with a controlling co-worker or boss. Controlling people are essentially co-dependent. They will control and manipulate you through passive and aggressive behaviour, bullying and coercion. There is nobody in the world who likes to be controlled and if you wish to set limits on someone’s controlling behaviour, then here are some of the steps that you should follow.
Tips To Deal With Controlling People
Recognize The Controlling Behaviour
Many people lack basic self-awareness when it comes to other’s controlling behaviour. They are not even aware that they are being controlled. The first and foremost step is to recognize that you are being controlled. Once you are able to recognize control behaviour, you will develop self-loathing and resentment against the controlling person for wanting to control. This will push you towards action.
Do Not Allow Yourself To Be Controlled
You can set boundaries and limits on other people’s behaviour in a respectful manner. Once you start setting reasonable limits, the other person may initially balk at your retaliation. He/she may be taken aback and may even protest at your newly found assertiveness. Eventually, controlling people get used to the idea that you will not be bullied into submission.
Stay In Control And Avoid Friction
There is no point in arguing with a controlling person because such people can be extremely arrogant and self-righteous. No matter what you do, they will never see things from your point of view so it is best to not get into arguments with them. Avoid friction at all costs, as it will keep your sanity intact.
Do Not Get Upset
It is very important to be strong and keep your cool. Just because a controlling person is upset with you does not mean you did something wrong. Allow them to rave and rant. Channelize your energies into constructive pursuits.
Have A Life
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It is critical to have your own set of hobbies, work and friends. This gives the controlling person an idea that you can manage quite well without them. It also tells them that you are not dependent on them to have a good time.
Believe In Your Abilities
It is very important to be true to yourself and have self-belief. Self-belief in turn will inspire confidence in the decisions you make for yourself. Confidence can deter many a controlling people.
Take Recourse To Extreme Measures
Extreme measures should always be used as a last resort when all else fails. If the controlling person is all out to make life hell for you, opt out of the relationship. There is no point in spending your life with a person who will always hold a gun to your head. If your co-worker or boss is unsettling you, resign. There are several good jobs available.
Do Not Submit To Aggression And Manipulation
If the controlling person’s behaviour borders on aggression, name calling and berating, put a stop to it. You are well within your limits to tell the person off at the cost of sounding curt. You do not have to put up with rude and aggressive behaviour. Sometimes controlling people need such wake-up calls in life.
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