There are things more than love and passion that attracts us towards one another. This is probably one of the crucial things that instigate us to contemplate whether we should treasure the friendship that we shared with our exes even after a formal breakup or not.
Although the idea is not as simple as it sounds, one can hardly deny that some positive traits in some individuals influence us not to withdraw ourselves completely from that those persons even after a disintegration. But, how fair is it to continue being friends with the ex while stepping into a new relationship? Is it fair enough, how can friendship post breakup be established? Start reading further to get answer to all such questions.
Ways To Maintain Friendship With Your Ex Post Breakup
Downside Of Continuing Friendship With Ex
Although you might find it absolutely fine to continue being friends with your ex even after a breakup, the whole idea might not always be as healthy for your new partner too. Continuing to have pure friendship with your ex might result in the development of a different conception on part of your present partner.
He/she might remain flabbergasted about your intention. It might give rise to a host of complications in your current relationship. It can give rise to jealously, misunderstanding, suspicion and ego problem on the part of your standing partner. He/she might even assume that there is definitely something lacking in your relationship or you still miss your partner or you are not happy with the new relationship, which is making you look back at the past relationship.
So, it remains as a great challenge for you if you wish to be a friend of your ex even after a breakup. There are certain things to be followed and certain norms to be maintained so that your new relationship does not suffer in the process.
Upside Of Continuing Friendship With Ex
There are definitely some positive sides of continuing to be friends with your ex even after a breakup. It acts as a learning process that helps you to rectify some of your ways and preferences, which might have affected your past relationship.
If you assume that you are having the same problem with your new partner as things used to be in case of your past relationship, you can look deeper into it and find out exactly where you always go wrong. This inevitably points out that you can have a healthier and better relationship this time.
How To Maintain Friendship With Your Ex Post Breakup
After getting a vivid idea on the ‘ifs and buts’ of maintaining friendship with your ex post breakup you might feel perplexed about how to modify your behavior and attitude so that you get the cream of it and your new relationship also continues successfully. So, read on further and inculcate these in your attitude if you are serious about your present relationship and desire friendship of your ex.
Never Reveal Your Traumas Of Present Relationship
The most vital thing to do is to avoid opening up the status of your present relationship in front of your ex and discussing every small incident of the same with your ex. Never let him/her take an active part or serve as your advisor in countering any stress, misunderstanding or frustration that you might be encountering in your present relationship. Even though the issues might be extremely trivial, it might give him/her a false implication that your present relationship is heading towards a crashing defeat!
Discuss Neutral Topics
The best way to maintain a healthy friendship with ex post breakup, which is free from all the complexities, is to keep the topics of discussion neutral. Avoid your personal topics altogether when you converse and never inquire your ex about his/her personal life either.
In case if he/she asks you about your present love life be curt enough to inform your ex that personal topics must be avoided in your communications. Meet casually as friends and discuss general topics that do not create turmoil in your mind and life. Be firm and controlled right from the beginning and you will only get rewarded with a good friend.
Do Not Look Back At The Issues Of Your Past Relationship
Most often than not discussions and post breakup collaborations between exes end up in dragging the issues and stains that have disintegrated the relationship. To be very honest, this is never the right approach you should follow if you wish to maintain sheer friendship and nothing else.
It will create fuss, misunderstanding and differences, which will creep into your present relationship too, thereby staining it unnecessarily in the process. Forget that you ever had any relationship in the mind and assume that you are strangers, who are meeting to be friends in future. If you behave in this fashion you will be amazed to see how your old stained relationship gets a new and fresh transformation.
How To Determine Things Will Go Healthy
The most important thing that you need to realize in this process is why you are looking forward to a friendly relationship with your ex even after a breakup. Assuming that breakups never happen with a sweet note and some kind of bitterness was inevitably present in your past relationship;
you are one who should decide what benefit this friendship will actually do to your life. In case if you do not find a valid answer to such questions and discover that it is just a sheer experimentation, the expert opinion is that it is always healthy to stay out of such discrete friendships.
A vital thing you must also note in this case is the behavior of your ex towards you in this post breakup phase. If you find it just the similar way as you used to be when you were emotionally connected with each other and your ex expresses the same possessiveness and passion for you, drop the plan of moving any further as this might call upon some unintended situations.
Last but not the least is to understand how your present partner feels about this friendship. Since both of you have the equal say in the relationship, so you cannot simply overlook the preferences of your present lover. If she does not approve of it, there is no point in trying to establish a queer friendship like this.